CHAPTER 3: Ranunculus

In the quaint and prosperous little town of Sta. Anna, some forty kilometers away from the lone city, Doyoung sat still while waiting for his dad to come to pick him up. Christmas break came fast and Doyoung couldn’t be happier. He really needed to take a break; it was long overdue. This break meant a lot to him. It meant rest and relaxation, more so, spending increased time with his family.

It’s a Thursday and he finds himself very sleepy. Sta. Anna at its center looks the same. Even in broad daylight when the fountains were not dancing and no lights played with them, the park is still impressive. The only difference he could note from his last visit was the additional kiosk where he is currently sitting while waiting for his dad to come to pick him up.

His best friend Mashiho persuaded him he should come but Doyoung insisted not to. Mashiho sulked for a week, but Doyoung explained the latter should be with his family for the special day.

“Son!” Doyoung heard his father.

“Dad!” he waved. He took his backpack and met his father halfway before hugging the older.

“Sorry, I was late.” His father panted. “I went to pick something up.”

“No worries, dad, and take a deep breath.” Doyoung reminded him. “Would you like me to drive home?”

“Nah, not today. I still don’t trust you.”

“Hey! I got my student permit two years ago.”

Doyoung’s old man is fifty-five years old. He owns a small restaurant when he was twenty-four and that has been his source of income. He lives with a simple motto of “live life while doing things you like.” With his small and stout stature, he works tirelessly, never misses a Sunday service, never lets his family down, but has allowed mistakes for room for improvement. He met Doyoung’s mom in the restaurant on a rainy day some two decades ago.

On the one hand, his mom is a schoolteacher who is currently fifty years old and enjoys planting vegetables in their backyard. She is taller than her husband and has sharp and keen eyes that some people find intimidating. With her soft voice and smiling face when she talks, people get reminded to never judge a book by its cover.

His father hit the accelerator, and they went on. They rode along the coastline, and Doyoung opened the window of their pick-up to allow the breeze to reach his soul. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the windowsill. He opened his eyes again and basked in the eleven-thirty sunlight.

Most of the town is coastal because historically, it was the main access to maritime trade via seaports way before the Spaniards came and pressured the natives for three hundred and thirty-three years. However, there are areas where farming is available as well. Doyoung’s house happens to be in a mountainous area. Regardless of their area, swimming in the sea was still possible when he was young.

He stared at the vast ocean. It’s sparkling and blue, and it brings a flash of silver in the amber light. There are lines of white waves that do not last long as another wave comes in. No matter how beautiful the sea is, to Doyoung, the ocean is a dark and mysterious body of water, ominous and traumatic.

“What do you think of the ocean?” his father asked.

Doyoung did not face his father but still answered. “It’s cool. It’s been a long time.”

“Eleven years, Doyoung.”

“Yeah,” Doyoung agreed.

His father did not press the topic and just let his son remain silent.

His younger brother hugged him tightly when they arrived. They have not met for a long time thanks to university.

“Not too tight you’re squishing me, I’m not a patty,” Doyoung laughed. Donghyun, his younger brother, instead hugged him much tighter.

“It’s been a long time,” the younger one mumbled as he buried his face in Doyoung’s checkered polo. The older can’t help but felt touched by the gesture. “You seldom come home, not when it’s the only two of us.”

Doyoung stiffened at the comment. He closed his eyes and willed to understand that what Donghyun said was simply an act of innocence.

“Why are you still using Johnson’s when you’re already eight?” He reverted the conversation while eyeing his mom who gave him an apologetic look.

They talk over lunch with Donghyun leading the conversation. He talked about how his classmates do not like playing outside anymore and just focused on mobile games and wished he could get his own. Doyoung just laughed at the younger’s whim about having gadgets. Never did he ever think of getting one when he was that age.

“But of course, I won’t force ma and pa to buy me one but that would make me happy,” he finished his speech before playfully eyeing his parents.

“You should just give up,” Doyoung commented before getting up. “I believe there is buko in the fridge?”

“About that,” his father put his spoon down. “We were not able to order. No one was available to climb the coconut yesterday. Sometime tomorrow I guess.”

“Oh, yeah, no worries.” Doyoung took the pitcher of water instead.

“Someone’s disappointed,” Donghyun laughed.

“Shut up.” They end the lunch on a high note.

Doyoung opened his mobile phone only to be greeted by two messages on Viber. He opened it. He received one from Mashiho. “Just let me know if I can still come, I know where your house is located,” the text reads. He hit a laughing emoji and then typed a short “enjoy your holidays there” before sending it to him.

He sat on his bed before opening the second message. It was from Junghwan. It’s a short video with nothing but the taller walking mindlessly across the road in broad daylight with an apparent chirping of birds in the background. The guy was wearing a brown shirt and brown jogging pants and sandals. He struck a peace sign pose before walking toward the still camera.

“You wearing eyeglasses?” Doyoung typed. He deleted the text and replaced it with “looks like someone is taking a walk.” He hit the send button. In an instant, the other guy is typing. He must’ve been quiescent to reply this quick.

“Was just taking a stroll,” was the reply.

Doyoung walked toward his study table and opened the large window in his room. The cold December air welcomed him.

“Must’ve been good,” he replied.

“T’was,” came the short reply. Another video was sent to him. This time, the video is dark with a walking shadow. Doyoung assumed the other guy used the back camera to capture the event.

“Didn’t know there are frogs in the city,” Junghwan’s additional text reads. Doyoung increased his phone’s volume. He could hear the unending croaking.

“They’re probably calling you,” Doyoung sent with a laughing GIF.

“Hey!” comes the reply. Doyoung laughed. Junghwan sent him another video: a turtle in the crystal clear water.

“You did so much already,” Doyoung whined. “I envy you,” he added.

“Strolling and everything and I get to play ball,” the other replied in an instant. A video message was sent. Doyoung opened it only to be greeted by Junghwan’s laughter while kicking the ball. It went too far.

“Nice shoes,” Doyoung commented.

“Really? Thanks! Brought it last year because it was in a 50% sale.”

Another text message arrived.

“TYL, mom’s calling me,” Junghwan sent him and that was Doyoung’s cue to stop the conversation. He sent a short “sure sure” before diverting his attention outside. His cassette played a rather old song entitled Wind of Change by Scorpions.

He wasn’t sure if he was getting older, but Doyoung finds more and more these days that a lot of music mainly from the ’80s resonates with him in a deeper way than a lot of stuff today. As the song went on, he was reminded of the video he saw on his Facebook timeline about children covered in blood while escaping the terror brought about by the ongoing war between Ukraine and Russia.

The kids in the street today were happy children while singing carols, hopping from one house to the other. Unbeknownst, in the other part of the world, the same children were suffering. He stopped the music and leaned on the window. He pondered upon how the world would be if violence does not exist and there is nothing but peace in the world. The world really will make sense if you view it from the window.

“Do you mind being useful and dropping some coins to kids singing carols outside?” his mom shouted from downstairs. Doyoung could hear her clearly.

“Not at all. Coming now.” He slid on his slippers and run downstairs.

His younger brother is out with his friends joining the caroling spree and hopefully will not come back home with narratives of being chased by a dog or being pranked by older guys. It has always been that case, a chasing galore during Christmas carol.

He gave the kids a few candies and a few coins before his phone rang suddenly. He took it from his side pocket. It’s Mashiho.

“Hey!”

“Merry Christmas, Mashi!”

“I am still upset.” Doyoung can already see the pout forming on the other’s lips.

“Okay, bye!”

“Hey!” Mashiho shouted rather loudly. “You’re so cruel!”

“What did I do?”

“Not keeping me with you in your house. Ring a bell?”

“You should spend more time with your family.”

“But you’re my family too.”

Doyoung choked on that. Mashiho really has his way with words, and he can make everyone swoon on him.

“You don’t have to say that,” Doyoung said as he sat on the couch. He leaned on it. His mother came over and asked who was on the phone. He whispered it was Mashiho and a smile appeared on her face.

“Let me talk to him,” his mother snatched the phone and greeted the guy on the other line rather loudly.

Mashiho suffered from the effects of absentee parents, and Doyoung feels sorry for his friend. There were multiple instances that the guy would confess and share his sentiments to Doyoung about his parents being away most of the time due to some business trips, but Mashiho would never cry. Doyoung wondered how much shell has developed within the guy before he would break down.

His mom returned the phone to him.

“Allow him to come here next time. I miss the bubbly guy already.”

“Thanks, Auntie!” Mashiho answered excitedly. “See? She wanted me home. There.”

“I know but your parents are there,” Doyoung reasoned out. “You should spend time with them together. Now is the time.”

“Yeah, and they’re facing their respective phones. It feels like they are not here.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m in my room as usual. I would’ve been in so much fun if I were there.”

“I hear you, I hear you.” Doyoung sighed in resignment. “No worries, when I come back here again, I’ll bring you.”

“You always say that.”

They ended the phone call with Mashiho virtually punching Doyoung in the face for ending the call too soon. He was about to lock his phone when a caller I.D rang it again.

It’s Junghwan.

“Merry Christmas,” Junghwan greeted softly. There was an apparent noise in the background that Doyoung hypothesized it as a party.

“Hey, Merry Christmas, too.” Doyoung, out of courtesy, greeted back.

“Hold on for a while,” he can hear footsteps and the noise faded away. “Can you hear me clearly now?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Nothing,”

“Nothing?”

“Yeah, nothing.”

Silence.

“How’s Sta. Anna?”

“It’s great. As always.”

“That’s cool. Send my regards to your hometown.”

“It says hi,” Doyoung laughed. “Looks like you’re having a good time there.”

“Yeah,” Junghwan sighed. “My brothers came home, and they invited some cousin’s over to celebrate Christmas with us. Karaoke and booze here and there.”

“Brothers? You have brothers?”

“I have three: Chanwoo-hyung, Jaehyun-hyung, and Sehun-hyung.”

“That’s cool.”

“But they’re noisy. Like really. I hate them sometimes for leaving our house because of work.”

“Sounds like love to me,” Doyoung commented. His mom asked him who he was talking to, and he just ignored her, who in return gave him a knowing smile. He mouthed ‘it’s no one’ and his mom gave him a wink.

“That’s my line.”

Doyoung laughed.

“Thanks for answering my call,”

“Oh, no worries.”

Silence.

“I should go,” Junghwan announced after Doyoung heard someone call his name. It must be one of his brothers.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’ll see you in the next few weeks?”

“Which happens to be next month,” Doyoung said flatly.

“Which also happens to be next year,” Junghwan laughed.

“Yeah, right.” Doyoung laughed.

“But hmm..” the other guy paused. “Will it be too much if you can send me a picture too?”

“About?”

“Anything that you’ve taken there.”

“Okay,” Doyoung does not know how to react to that except agree to the proposal. He heard the other mumble a soft goodbye, and he made sure to reply appropriately this time. He scrolled down the photos he has taken so far and nothing looks extra spectacular. He gritted his teeth in annoyance for such a poor photographer.

In the end, he sent a picture of a cliff that he took after their lunch earlier and a snap of the table tennis program that he watched.

His family spent the New Year’s Day in his grandparents’ house approximately two kilometers away from their house. It is one gigantic house that became an apparent vacation haven for every cousin coming home wherever they were dispersed in the country.

The house echoes a cacophony of noisy people. Doyoung doesn’t like it. Not one bit of it. Reunion in the Philippines means getting asked why you’re losing or gaining weight, girlfriend or boyfriend reveal, and the endless show off of family accomplishments.

His younger brother went on to play with their cousins and it’s such a shame Doyoung does not have a cousin around his age. He went outside after greeting everyone and kissing his grandparents on their cheeks. He wished he could just go home. He could vacation himself in their house with good food and good company.

It’s dusk. He walked towards the big molave tree that he used to climb when he was a kid. He sat on one of its protruding roots and sighed. He cannot see the sun anymore, but the sky is still visible, bathing the whole in a warm glow. He looked at the valley ahead of him where an expanse of green rice field can be seen. The land rolls as it always has. It feels like nothing has changed from the last time he came here except for the few houses that were erected on the west side.

Doyoung stood up and walked around the tree. He noticed how it has gone so big. He can’t reach the branches anymore and the trunk has scars. It must’ve gone through a lot, Doyoung wondered.

“What are you doing here, not-so-young boy?”

“Hey, dad,” Doyoung smiled at his father. The old man approached him. He sat on the available bench. “Was just resting.”

“You mean getting away from the noise?”

“Maybe?” he laughed. He looked back at the house, and he can still hear laughter and loud blaring music.

“So,” his father looked at him. “Class will start next week?”

“Unfortunately,” he confirmed rather blandly. “But that also means nearing the end of my student career. I’m going to be a legit working adult soon.”

“You’ll be, in time. Everyone does.”

Silence.

“Do you have any plans after graduation?” his father asked. “Anything that interests you?”

“I’ve been asked that a lot lately,” he answered matter-of-factly. “And I have been thinking about that a lot lately too.”

“Don’t stress yourself too much, Doyoung.”

“All right, pa. I’m good. Just probably overthinking.”

“That’s understandable,” his father paused and kicked a stone. “Just remember, that I and your mom are always here to give you advice when you need it. We want you to be fully guided.”

“Thanks, pa.”

They fell into silence after that. A moment later, his father asked him the question he has been avoiding.

“How’s love life?”

He bit his lower lip. “You guys are my love life.”

“No crushes? Or anyone that makes your heart flutter?” his father prodded.

“Nah, I am really busy with school and all. I barely sleep how much more make a time for a crush or whatnot.”

“You barely eat?”

“Was just exaggerating, pa. But the point is, I don’t have to be in a relationship right now.”

“Right.”

“I’m good on my own so far,” he reassured. His father gave him a contented smile.

After his father left, Doyoung stayed under the silver moonlight. It’s already seven in the evening yet the fun and laughter in the big house seemed to have just started. He took a deep breath and let out a loud sigh.

He was never open to this but Doyoung does not fancy ladies. He has grown a romantic attachment to men. He knew it started a long time ago, he just does not like showing it. He is already comfortable with how he is expressing himself. No matter what the label is: gay, bisexual, homosexual, it doesn’t matter to him. To him, he is Kim Doyoung.

The only thing is that he is never too open about it.

He kicked some stones and wondered if his family will kick him out once they’ll found out his real identity. Doyoung at least has a loving family and by the looks of it, they’re not the conventional type but he couldn’t be careless. He has been wanting to let his parents at least know about his preference. They have the right to know.

The real struggle of coming out is the fear of not being accepted. It has always been for that fear, especially in a Christian country. People are born with their elders instilling them that there is only a man and woman. The Bible has taught them that what is not found in the book is something that is not normal and considered a mistake – something that goes out from the natural and divine laws established by God.

People would get disgusted especially men for the fear that gay might bomb them at night. Just because a person is gay doesn’t mean he would hit on every guy out there. Do girls hit on every man they see because girls are for boys? They won’t because they know it is wrong and they have a working brain just like gay people do. Doyoung feels frustrated.

He looked up at the sky and bit his lower lip.

“What a hard life,” he mumbled.

The next morning, he went out early to see the farm, and it was breathtaking. Doyoung and Donghyun went for a short jog and decided to drop by the farm.

They were both sweating. The younger one continued to run while Doyoung decided to just take a walk. The sun is still rising, and the roosters are shouting their daily morning routines. He sat on the pile of logs hidden from the vines of bitter gourd. He let out a deep breath. He touched some morning dews and enjoyed how cold they felt on his fingers. Bees were flying over the yellow flowers.

“Pollination,” his mom appeared out of nowhere.

“Mom, you’re scaring me.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled softly. “Bees are important in the pollination process.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“People do not understand the roles of bees. They’re scared of them because they might sting them. Actually, bees are tamed animals. They do not just sting out of nowhere.”

Her mom is wearing her long sleeves and a pair of big black boots with gloves on her hands. She does look like a farmer.

“You taught me that when I was in third grade,” Doyoung added.

“Good that you gave me some credits.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Just asking a general question.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Since we’re talking about roles, have you ever been in a situation where you are expected to be someone but in reality, you’re far from what others expect you to be?”

“How do you mean?” her mom stopped pulling dead leaves from the vine. She sat behind Doyoung.

“I probably make no sense,” Doyoung smiled sadly.

“No, go on.”

“Last night,” he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. “Dad asked me about my crushes and romantic relationships.”

“I see,”

“But the thing here is that,” he paused. It’s already at the tip of his tongue.

“What, dear?” his mom asked worriedly.

“I may not like girls.”

His mom did not say anything and Doyoung panicked. What might this silence mean? His eyes start to blur and he can feel water coming out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“No, God, no,” his mom stood up. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I’m sorry, mom-“ Doyoung wasn’t able to hold his tears, and he was sobbing.

“Oh, dear. Why are you crying?”

“I’m sorry, mom.”

“You know I love you, right? That your dad and Donghyun love you so much. Right?” Doyoung sobbed while burrowing his face in his sweat-drenched shirt.

“Tell me, dear,” she cupped his face and she smiled at him. “How many times have you wanted people to understand something without telling them? How many times you were near the shore but couldn’t touch the water?”

For a second, Doyoung cleared his throat and tried hard to face his mom. She is smiling.

“The moment you stopped expressing who you are, for the fear that you will be rejected, is the moment you have rejected yourself, and communicated to the world that those who do not know you have the authority to judge what should be expressed. Remember that.” Doyoung nodded in response.

“Eventually,” she continued. “You will hit to that point in life where you are no longer interested in convincing people that how you feel and who you are is valid and decide that as long as you know your truth and what works for you. That’s what matters the most.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Who you like does not define who you are, Doyoung. And always remember that we are always here for you, and we always love you.” Her mom hugged him and patted his back softly. She Comforted the crying man with soft whispers of “shush” “don’t cry” “we love you” and “don’t cry, everything is alright.”

After what Doyoung felt like the longest conversation she had with his mom, his mom wiped the remaining tears in his eyes.

“Thank you for telling me, and sorry if I keep asking you to bring me a girlfriend.”

“No, worries, mom.”

“You’re such a brave man, Kim Doyoung. I should ask you to bring a boyfriend here soon.”

He did not respond, instead, he laughed at that.

“Would you like me to tell your dad?”

“Yes, please.” He laughed. “I don’t want to go through this again.”

His mom laughed hard at that.

The first week of the second semester was slow, mostly on subject introduction. He decided to take a rest in the library. Mashiho was nowhere to be found.

“Long time no see,” Junghwan appeared. He is wearing a white collared shirt and a pair of navy-blue jeans.

“Yeah, long time no see,” Doyoung affirmed as he studied the face of the guy. Vacation did him good.

“Any good news?”

“Today is a sunny day. That’s the good news.”

“What about a not-so-good news?”

“I have work later,” Doyoung announced.

“In the movie house?”

“Yep,”

“I see.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. Any good news?”

“I’ll be picking up some flowers. I’m going to visit dad at the cemetery.”

“Oh, I see. That’s cool.”

“Would you like to come?”

“Now?”

”Yeah,”

“S-sure,”

“But you don’t have to if you’re busy.”

“Yeah, you know what, let’s meet your dad.”

Within a few minutes of walking, Doyoung and Junghwan arrived at Aengdu Florist. It’s a colorful flower shop with delicate arrays of flowers ranging from tiny baby’s breath to large-petal sunflowers. The florist is an old woman with visible wrinkles on her face and weak knees by the looks of how she walks. She greeted them with a good morning and proceeded on asking them what the occasion is.

“Today’s my father’s birthday,” Junghwan told the old lady. “We’d like to pay him a visit at the cemetery.”

“Oh, I see.” The old woman took her book designs and showed them to them. “These are my designs.”

Doyoung looked at the designs and was in awe of how the already beautiful flowers can still be arranged much more beautifully.

“But, you can also customize the design yourself,” the old woman informed them. “I’m sure your father would prefer that.”

The taller guy smiled, and Doyoung can’t help but smile at the thought too.

“Are there any flowers suitable for someone who’s having a birthday?” Junghwan asked.

The old lady walked down the aisle and stopped midway. She took the small vase. It contained a bouquet of white flowers. “This is a chrysanthemum.”

Doyoung is familiar with the name.

“This flower is symbolic,” the old woman walked toward them and plopped down the vase on the table. “In Europe, it means death, but in some other countries, it means honoring someone to live a happy life. This fits your agendum today. This flower will wish your father a good rest in peace and a happy afterlife.”

Junghwan smiled again. “Can you wrap that for us? That looks fantastic already.”

“Give me a minute.”

They stood in the waiting area.

“Why do flowers look beautiful?”

“I don’t know, but they do.”

Doyoung walked toward the different vases and stood beside them. “With all these flowers, you couldn’t tell me apart”? That seemed to have entertained the other guy because Junghwan was cackling.

“That was smooth.”

The old lady interrupted them and handed them the flower. Junghwan paid for the flowers.

They passed by several old monuments laying along the fence. The City East Cemetery, despite its vastness, is congested to the brim. There is a small resting area filled with pine trees and old benches. This is Doyoung’s first time in the cemetery.

“I enjoy cemeteries,” Junghwan announced out of the blue. The sun is up so high and there is barely any shade in the location that could protect them from direct contact with the sun. “I find them solemnly beautiful, calming, and peaceful.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve visited a cemetery,” Doyoung fell silent.

“I used to come here every day after my dad was gone,” Junghwan made a u-turn as if they were lost. Doyoung just followed suit. “My father’s death was really painful not just for me but for my mom.”

“I could imagine,” Doyoung commented.

“My mother married twice before my father.” Doyoung was shocked at the information. “The saddest part is that all my fathers left for heaven. Mom always blamed herself for such uncontrollable things. I wish she’ll realize it wasn’t her fault.”

“Does that mean-“

“Yes, Sehun-hyung and Jaehyun-hyung share the same father. Chanwoo-hyung has a different father, and I have a different father as well. Which explains the huge age gap.”

“I may be stepping on the line already, but how’s your… how should I ask this, dynamics? Relationship? With your brothers?”

Junghwan stopped his tracks. They’re in front of a small gated kiosk. He took something from his pocket, a key, and opened the small gate and the main door. It was pretty neat except for the dust on the seats.

“Hi, dad!” He greeted cheerfully.

“Hi, Sir,” greeted as well.

They both greeted him with a happy birthday. Junghwan even sang the happy birthday song. Doyoung was amused at what he saw. He was not expecting this side of Junghwan.

After their short prayer, they decided to take a rest.

“About your question earlier, our relationship is good. It was excellent. Sehun-hyung is the strict one. He pays for my tuition fee, he pays for my university actually. Let’s just say he always checks my grades so he would know his money was put into good use. He always says he’s not pressuring me, but he does it subtly anyway.

“Jaehyun-hyung…ah this guy. He’s the quirky one. He’s an architect, dates a lot of girls but is very humble. I like him but we barely talk.”

“Why?” Doyoung asked.

“I don’t know, we’re casual. He’s distant as well even to mom but there is no beef between them, just with Sehun-hyung. Those can’t seem to agree on many things.” Junghwan chuckled.

“Because he’s strict, probably.”

“Yeah, Sehun-hyung always gives unsolicited bits of advice and Jaehyun-hyung doesn’t like it.”

“Probably because he’s the eldest one?”

“I thought so too. He always has that aura to keep things under control. It doesn’t have to be under his control, but generally, under control. He likes things in place.

“And then I have Chanwoo-hyung, my best friend. We get along really well. Maybe it’s because we have a close age gap compared to the other two. He was the older brother to me while I was growing up. We played games together and grow up together. He was there with me all the time.”

Doyoung kept quiet then spoke. “It must’ve been good to have an older brother.”

“Yeah,” Junghwan confirmed. “Shall we go?”

Doyoung closed the movie house rather forcefully. He got pissed off after his group's thesis adviser announced that she will drop her responsibility citing she has too much on her plate. He could not, for the love of God, understand the logic of dropping out at the last minute – not when they only have two months and a half to complete their research paper.

The air is humid and sweat is forming on his forehead. Junghwan is waiting for him outside although Doyoung insisted the other one should go home and celebrate his dad’s birthday with the members of the family. Junghwan persisted he should stay.

“You might get drowned with your thoughts,” Junghwan remarked as they passed by the provincial library.

“I know how to swim,” Doyoung willed himself to sound playful but failed to do so.

Junghwan stopped him from walking by holding his hand. He faced Doyoung and put both his arms on the smaller’s shoulders.

“Is something the matter?”

“Just with studies and all, this too shall pass,” Doyoung let out a deep sigh. “I feel like I need a breather.”

“Like a booze? Beer?”

“Not a bad idea,” Doyoung loosens up.

“Now?”

“If you like,” Doyoung confirmed.

And that led them to the Baywalk with Junghwan carrying the plastic bag full of chips and two cans of cold beer. It’s already nine-thirty and the coast is almost void of people save for the couple of people whose laughter gets carried away by the wind.

“Have you realized we will be sent to jail once the authorities will catch us drinking beer here, right?” Junghwan asked as he pointed at the No Drinking Allowed signboard attached to the tree.

“Well, they should be fined for nailing that sign to the tree,” Doyoung retorted. “I heard that is prohibited.”

“Let’s just drink this quickly and I’ll throw our cans.”

They both gulped the beer and let out a loud burp before laughing hysterically. They stayed silent after that and allow the sound of the waves to comfort their worrying hearts.

Doyoung looked at Junghwan while the other guy is busy munching the remaining chips. His mouth moved sideward as he chewed. Even in that slightest trivial moment, Doyoung noticed them. Doyoung noticed Junghwan. It was not easy bottling up all these feelings. He might have a crush on Junghwan, and he’s scared. Junghwan looked at him and smiled. “Is there something on my face?”

“Handsomeness,” he suddenly blurted his thoughts out and he panicked. “I mean-“

“You’re funny,” Junghwan laughed. “Maybe it’s because I am from handsome island.” They both laughed.

Before they separate ways, Junghwan gave Doyoung something.

“A flower?” Doyoung laughed.

“I got this earlier. It’s a little wilted.”

“I can see that.”

“You can put that in your room’s vase?”

“The sole flower in my room,” Doyoung smiled. “Thanks for this. And happy birthday to your dad. I am positive his happy right now.”

“That means a lot to me.”

When he arrived home, Doyoung took a picture of the flower immediately, typed images.google.com in his browser, and uploaded it there. The result came out and the flower is called ranunculus. He tapped on similar results.

A bright smile was painted on his face when he read what the flower means.

***