Chapter 2: Electric Keyboard

University is a place to meet new friends, make new bonds, and have space to become the young adult version of oneself. It is a place to grow, mature, and expand the horizons of what people had previously believed impossible.

Doyoung would like to call it a place for character development. Something about the largeness of the university gave him a chance to grow an expanded sense of himself.

The third day of November had the university bursting into scary knickknacks. Doyoung is outside the library contemplating to whether join the cacophony of mumbling people or not.

"I thought you don’t like the library?” Mashiho chirped in as he adjusted his glasses. He has been wearing eyeglasses for fashion and they suit him well.

“The library just naturally calls to me, like, sometimes,” Doyoung replied.

The other guy snorted. “That’s the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard from you.”

“Shut up.”

“It calls me to me,” Mashiho teased him with his oh so annoying dramatic face. “It calls to me.”

“I mean-“

“How does the library call to you, Doyoung?” the best friend pried.

“You know what, just shut up.”

Mashiho laughed so hard; that he might not be able to get over it in the next few days. “I did not know Halloween gets you overly dramatic.”

“Just shut up.” He stood up from the bench and decided against his will to enter the building. Mashiho followed suit.

“I can’t believe this is the biggest university library in the country.” Mashiho gasped as they entered.

The library has a few tall walls of ancient volumes, though mostly they are now a sort of decoration to set the scene. It has a wide array of books and periodicals that seemed to be overstretched like a horizon. One can simply come in and either reads or listens to one of the thousands of titles, including scientific research papers.

“I happen to Google that last night, but it’s not.”

“What?”

“It’s the seventh only.”

“Really? I’ve been lied to.”

“In the province, it is, but in the entire country, it isn’t.”

They plopped down at the table near the periodicals. Doyoung took out his laptop from his backpack and turned it on.

“Is it possible to bring coffee here?” Mashiho asked innocently. “I don’t see any signs like no eating or something.”

“Maybe?” Doyoung answered. “It’s not like you’ll eat the coffee, right?”

“Shut up!”

Doyoung laughed.

“I’ll try to sneak one. Would you like me to get you one?” Mashiho asked then stood up.

“You serious?”

“Of course. I’ll try to be as discreet as possible. Are you in?”

“No, I have water here.”

Mashiho left the scene.

After a hectic morning, being alone means salve to Doyoung. It is a chance for true serenity to calm every part of his being.

When he has been alone, then sweet self-company brings balance, brings joy, and a renewed sense of wonder. He concluded that people live in this equilibrium and there is wisdom in being in tune with these ebbs and flows of emotion.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A face covered his view. It’s Junghwan.

“Hi,” Doyoung greeted as he straightened his back. His alone moment was disturbed. He cleared his table so the other lad could place his stuff atop the round table.

“I figured I could drop by,” Junghwan said, still standing while adjusting the strap of his bag. He is wearing his nursing uniform and for the first time, Doyoung noticed the other guy’s full stature.

Surprised by his strikingly tall figure, Doyoung blinked his eyes.

“Am I disturbing you?” the other guy asked sheepishly, backing away.

“Nah,” Doyoung denied. “I was just waiting for time to pass by.”

Junghwan laughed and scratched the back of his head.

“You have someone with you?” the taller guy asked, eyeing Mashiho’s materials.

“Yeah, a friend,” Doyoung answered. “He decided to break some rules and grabbed some coffee.”

“Rebellious,” the other guy remarked.

“He is,” Doyoung affirmed. “But a good friend.”

“That’ good to hear.”

Silence enveloped them with Junghwan standing and Doyoung sitting.

“Would you like to sit?” Doyoung offered after realizing he has not been a gentleman.

“I’m good. I was just... I was just stopping by,” Junghwan scratched the back of his neck again and fidgeted. “I was thinking I could say… I mean haven’t seen you for three days. I gotta run.”

Doyoung doesn’t know how to react to that nor doesn’t know if he was supposed to say bye, but he was sure he heard the other saying a soft goodbye, but Doyoung did not mind at all.

Doyoung spent the remaining afternoon in his room, fading in and out from sleep – mostly out. After a grueling day at the university, he decided to ditch his part-time – for once. He felt like he needed to take a break.

As a student, he hadn’t taken a vacation in three years and he has been dying to do it.

Actually, he has spent eight weeks living away from his folks. He was unable to visit them as often as he used to do. His mom has been boggling him out to come home but Doyoung, in his apologetic voice, declined ever so sadly that he can’t. There is just so much to do in the university, and he’s drowning in the pit of study loads and part-time jobs as if he is the sole breadwinner of the family. This afternoon, he pondered if all the things he has been doing will be worth it.

He stared at his toy collection – his boyhood memories staring down the walls. Having difficulty in meeting ends meet, he hadn’t had the inclination to redecorate the toys and reminisce the past. He stared at the wall again. Posters of team Alaska in the PBA and the popular Jaworski still covered the walls, abandoned by the enthusiastic freshman Doyoung who used to dream of watching a PBA final a decade and a half ago. Those dreams were gone, but not forgotten.

Innocent times, he thought. Things did not seem innocent anymore. Now, everything is full of awareness – of poverty and sacrifice and working hard until someone bleeds.

Doyoung wanted to go back to the good times, the innocent times. Not way back, of course. It was not as if he wanted to save Jose Rizal from going back to the Philippines and avoid the inevitable death, nor asked Aristotle about his favorite movie. He wanted to go back to the times when his awareness about the future was not this defined well. He missed living in the moment. He missed the times when his only problem was not able to solve his Math homework or how to confess to his mom that his newly bought toy car was broken. Now, everything seems to be his worry now.

The clock hits five and Doyoung is hardly sleepy. His mind reverts to his real problem. In two days, his medical technical writing project is due, and he has not started working on it, lest identify the person whom he can partner with.

He slipped out of his bed and pulled on his jeans, sneakers, and a polo shirt. The floorboards creaked beneath his feet. He stepped lightly and move downstairs. He opened the door and it creaked. He peered into the hall. No sound. His hungry stomach led him outside.

Doyoung is staying in an apartment flat. It’s a big house and was renovated so it would appear as an apartment flat. He got lucky to have picked the largest room with the second floor of wooden architecture.

He trudged along the street with his soles directly touching the earth. What he liked about Phase Two is the neighborhood. It is as peaceful as Sta. Anna’s though not as fresh. It has a local market, a small park, a grocery store, a drugstore, and a coffee shop adjacent to a gasoline station.

He arrived at the McDonald’s and ordered two chicken sandwiches and a glass of cola. The lady at the counter was kind enough to give him a discount coupon. Doyoung was able to save fifteen pesos.

After taking his orders, Doyoung craned his neck to look for available chairs. It’s almost dinner time and the place is almost packed. He walked towards the right-wing of the fast-food chain only to be greeted by a throng of sitting people who are busy chattering and laughing. Disappointed, he left and walked towards the left-wing only to be-

“Doyoung?” a voice interrupted his focus. Doyoung turned around and found Junghwan standing, smiling at him.

“Hey,” is all Doyoung could reply while having a hard time balancing the glass of coke on the tray that he has been carrying.

Peñaflor isn’t that far from Phase Two. Doyoung has reminded himself not to make it sound like they have been planning to meet at unexpected places.

“I was just looking for a vacant seat so I can settle down already,” Doyoung faked a smile while balancing the tray.

“Oh, cool,” Junghwan replied. “The seat across me is vacant.”

“I’m desperate right now,” Doyoung let go of his awkwardness. “Do you mind if I seat across from you?”

“No, I don’t. Come along.”

Doyoung followed suit. He sat down quite immediately when they arrived at the table station.

“I actually saw you,” Junghwan confessed.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” the other guy smiled in affirmation. “And I figured we can sit together… I mean given the number of vacant seats.”

Doyoung examined the area and noticed that there is no vacant seats anymore. He was spared.

“Thank you for your kindness,” is all Doyoung could say.

“That sounds so formal but thank you.”

They remained silent as Doyoung digs at his food while Junghwan was too occupied ogling on his phone. The silence was not awkward, Doyoung observed. It was the typical stranger meet-up.

“Just got out of class?” Doyoung struck a conversation.

“Yeah,” Junghwan replied as he set his phone down and faced Doyoung. “I figured I need a value meal to tend my hunger.”

“It must’ve been hard,”

“What?”

“To be a nursing student. Memorize human stuff and all.”

“It must’ve been hard to collect news without getting information mixed up,” Junghwan commented back.

“It is,” then silence visited them again.

After a few minutes, Junghwan stood up.

“I was thinking of visiting the Baywalk today,” he said while he took his helmet.

“That’s cool.” Doyoung smiled at him.

“Would you like to come?”

“At the Baywalk?”

“Yeah.”

Doyoung pondered for a moment and mentally checked his schedule for tomorrow and see if he could afford to sleep late tonight. Before he could decide, he felt a tug on his arm. Junghwan was smiling at him.

“Come on. No need to think twice. Let loose.”

And Doyoung was dragged out from the place. He noticed that the other has brought with him a helmet.

“You drive?”

“I do,” Junghwan confirmed.

“But I don’t have that. You don’t happen to have an extra one, do you?”

“I don’t, but I have this,” he took off his cap and put it on Doyoung’s head. Doyoung adjusted it.

“You serious? We could get caught.” Doyoung reasoned out as he tried to catch up with the other who was striding fast toward his scooter.

“Or not.” Junghwan grinned. “Come on Kim Doyoung, live a life.”

“In prison? I don’t think so.”

Junghwan laughed harder. “I swear to God, Kim Doyoung.”

Doyoung couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of getting fined for not wearing a helmet.

“Trust me, there was no checkpoint when I came here. It’s not like I can allow you to be in trouble just because of my shenanigans.”

“Hop on and hold on to my hip.” Junghwan continued.

Doyoung froze and thought hard before doing so. His grip was not on the hip though but his left side abdomen while letting his other hand clung for his dear life at the back handle. Junghwan sideways him and told him to use his two hands. Doyoung did. This bold action sent shivers across his whole body and his heart beats erratically, for an unknown reason. Regaining composure, he leaned forward and allowed his nose to touch Junghwan’s back.

“You good?” Junghwan asked in between gusts of wind. He drove the scooter at what Doyoung could fathom as an appropriate speed.

Doyoung nodded but described himself dumb later because no way in the world would Junghwan see him nodding his head. He managed to shout a curt yes.

They arrived at the Baywalk in a complete piece.

Lazy swirls of orange, pink, and purple hovered on the horizon in the afterglow of another southern Sta. Barbara sunset. It’s almost six already but the sky is still bright orange. Twenty-one-year-old Doyoung stared at what seemed like nature’s daily reminder that endings could be beautiful.

He sat on the bench while Junghwan legally parked his motorcycle. The other guy’s invitation gave Doyoung a sense of reconciliation with the seawater after his drowning incident more than a decade ago.

The Baywalk is a ten-minute ride from McDonald’s. The dusk is getting chilly and he was glad it was not humid. The cold doesn’t seem to bother him.

“The last time I was here was when I was in high school,” Junghwan started talking the moment he sat next to Doyoung.

“So, you are really from the city?”

“I am a city boy,” Junghwan affirmed. “You?”

“From Sta. Anna. Miles away from here.”

“It must’ve been great living away from the city,” Junghwan looked at him.

“In my case, it was. I couldn’t tell for the others. Sta. Barbara isn’t that bad people comment it to be.” He took a deep breath and let the sea breeze enter his lungs. “Feels good to come to the coast again.”

“Isn’t Sta. Anna a coastal municipality?”

“It is,” Doyoung can feel it again: the longing to go to the waters. He walked a little to the shoreline until he can see tiny waves washing the sands away from the line. The tiny sounds the waves make are very soothing, almost like a lullaby. He sat down there, not minding the grains of sand sticking on his pants, and just closed his eyes as he let the sound bask in him. It’s been a long time since he listened to this, and it is very relaxing.

Junghwan followed suit.

“You must’ve missed this,” he remarked as he sat next to Doyoung.

“Very, you have no idea.”

The silver moon is in its full color high in the sky giving off the light to humanity accompanied by the stars. It is really big and very beautiful. Tonight, the moon is not up for hide-and-seek nor a peek-a-boo, unlike yesterday when it was weaving in and out of the dark clouds dispersed across the sky.

“My family used to come here every weekend.” Out of nowhere, Junghwan stated plainly. Doyoung looked at him, but the guy has set his eyes on the non-existing horizon.

“That’s cool,” Doyoung commented as he threw a pebble into the sea. “What happened?”

“My dad. He died last 2013 during the earthquake.”

“Oh,” Doyoung doesn’t know what to say except, “I am sorry to hear that. I shouldn’t have asked.”

He remembers that earthquake graphically. It was the strongest the province felt so far. He can still recall how the ground shook, how everyone looked so sad and sullen, and how people reacted to false information about tsunamis and another wave of the earthquake and volcanic eruption. He could still remember the different news headlines relating to his province. It was chaotic and traumatic; destructive and elusive.

“Oh, no worries. It happened like years ago and I have accepted things already…” He breathed heavily and continued. “…that there is no permanent in this world... that even the one you love the most, when the time comes, has to go. Painful or not, things happen, and you have to just deal with it.”

It was too deep and Doyoung can feel the sadness in Junghwan’s voice, in the way he said it.

They remained silent. The silence was comfortable, the silence between two men who just gotten acquainted with each other. It feels like there was no need for someone to say something just to comfort the other because the mere presence is enough, and it felt comfortable.

“Do you know what the most viewed object in the universe is?” Junghwan asked. Doyoung looked at him, confusion evident in his eyes.

He tried to guess.

“Clock?” He raised his voice as if he is waiting for the other to agree to his answer.

“I read it is the moon,” Junghwan answered.

“Why?”

“I don’t know but sometimes at night people love to look at the moon. Sometimes it is the basis if it is going to rain or not, you know, when there is no moon visible then there are dark clouds floating under it.” Junghwan released a long breath.

“I would agree if you said the stars, but moon? Not sure.” Doyoung bit his lower lip. He picked a small pebble and then threw it into the waters. “I’d go for the clock.”

“What about the clock?”

“Well, for the record, I keep looking at my watch. Almost every second especially on boring subjects.” Doyoung let out a mischievous laugh. He laughed while he looked at his watch and blew air on it. “I guess it is not the clock but the time it shows.”

“That, I agree.”

They both fell into silence again as they watch hermit crabs running on the sand.

“I think you are not telling me something,” Junghwan suddenly said, breaking the silence. Doyoung looked at him, confused. He has been giving a lot of confused looks tonight.

“Am I supposed to say or divulge something?” he asked. Doyoung is not sure what the other is talking about.

“I guess so.” He said as he stretched his legs and yawned. “I feel so sleepy.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“You did not tell me you were the one who returned my ID at SAO.”

Doyoung opened his mouth, but no words came out. He closed it again and fidget his hands.

“Yes, my ID.”

“I figured I don’t have to?”

“I figured you could’ve replied to my text message?” Junghwan stood up and took a deep breath. He doesn’t sound angry but disappointed. “Did you receive my message?”

"I did. I was about to, but it got buried in the back of my head. Busy and all.”

“A simple thank you would do. I thought I got the wrong number until Yedam from Loey’s confirmed it is you.”

“You’re welcome,” Doyoung said. “I hope it’s not too late.”

Junghwan chuckled. “It’s not.”

They walk back to the bench. Doyoung managed to check his phone and the clock reads seven-thirty.

“As an exchange, if there is anything you’d like me to do or any favor, just let me know.”

"Actually there is,” Doyoung said immediately. “I kind of need a partner in my project.”

“About what?”

“It’s in my writing class and we’re asked to write for a certain field. I picked medicine…” Doyoung trailed off. “…unfortunately.”

“Hey!” Junghwan faked a painful face.

“No offense but I think it’s a rather difficult destination to enter.”

“It’s just your opinion,” Junghwan fixed his white uniform.

“Right. I hope you won’t decline. My writing task is due in two days. I’m a man of desperation. Like really.”

“Yeah, sure. I’m free tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Junghwan smiled. “Luckily, I only have two classes tomorrow which will end at 9 AM. The rest, I am free.”

“Cool. I’m free tomorrow as well. How about at Loey’s, 1 PM?”

“Deal.”

His kitchen smelled of corned beef and tocino, and so did his little dining room. The living room too. The whole flat smelled of them and Doyoung is struggling to keep his hand and fork away from them. He is starving.

He rarely cooks but when he does, he really cooks. He can maneuver the kitchen like a pro but not the way his father does who owns a small restaurant back in the town. He must’ve picked up the unpolished skills from the constant ogling habit he had taken especially when his father chops.

It has been two days since Junghwan helped him with his project and Doyoung is celebrating a little victory. Not in an extravagant way, but in a manner, he liked it to be: simple and cozy.

“Hey!” Junghwan smiled after Doyoung opened the main door. The raven-haired Doyoung invited the taller one as a token of gratitude and appreciation for helping him hurdle a terrible and difficult task. Junghwan helped him relieve stress, and he reckoned a simple lunch together will be enough. After all, a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach – not that Doyoung fancies Junghwan.

“Hi,” he replied. “Come on in!”

The taller one came inside and took his shoes off. Doyoung gave him a pair of slippers.

“You have a nice flat,” Junghwan complimented as he stood, the closed door behind him. He looked clueless.

“Have a seat and please feel free to use the living room however you want.” Doyoung smiled.

It’s already a quarter past eleven on a Saturday morning. Originally, he invited his best friend Mashiho to come but the latter declined and opt to spend his weekend in the corners of his bedroom.

“Looks like you have started doing something in your kitchen,” Junghwan pointed out as he sat on the two-sitter couch.

“I am,” Doyoung confirmed. “Nothing fancy though, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Oh, no worries.” Junghwan took a deep breath. “Thank you for having me here, and I brought some cookies. My mom baked them last night and I thought you’d like these.”

Doyoung whipped his head in the other’s direction and look at the box Junghwan is holding.

"Sounds delicious. You can put that on the table.”

“You mentioned about a friend yesterday, was it Mashiro?”

“Mashiho. Yeah, he declined my offer, and it took offense. Gosh, that guy has a big appetite and sulky attitude.” Doyoung rants. “I mean, we decided he could help me today but he bailed me out last minute. I’m going to kill him the moment I see him on Monday.”

“That sounds like love to me,” Junghwan said as he looked at the series of photographs hanging on the wall.

“Gosh, I love that man,” Doyoung confirmed as he separated the chicken from the soup. “Not in a romantic way, though.”

“I get your point. Sounds like you have been best friends for ages,” the taller one stopped at one photo and emitted a short laugh. “Is this you?”

"The chubby kid?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, that’s me not until I forgot to eat.”

“What a change.”

“Quite a change.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Junghwan stepped closer to the sink, waiting for Doyoung to order him around.

“I’m almost done,” the smaller one replied as he set the plates on the table.

His round table was able to house three dishes that Doyoung managed to make despite waking up late this morning. The corned beef and tocino were placed on one leaf-designed plate, the chicken sinigang is in the bowl, and the fried fish he managed to cook successfully without burning his hand from the bursting oil sat idly on the white round plate. He doesn’t have adequate knowledge on plating, Mashiho does, but he wasn’t there to save Doyoung from poor table presentation.

He took out two cans of Coke from his little fridge while passing by Junghwan.

“If you could just tell me what to do, I’ll be more than happy to help.”

“We’re actually set,” Doyoung announced as he urged the other guy to sit across him.

“I hope you like the food.”

“I’m a hearty eater. I can devour anything.”

They both laughed. Junghwan tried the soup first and complimented Doyoung on how good it was.

“I am not really a soup person but this one is good.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Am not exaggerating or anything it’s the truth.”

"Thanks,” Doyoung blushes. He is not used to getting complimented. For someone who grows up in a close-knit family, he cannot believe himself for not getting used to these sweet comments; and he thought he won’t be able to.

"I don’t really have many friends, so getting invited over for a meal makes me happy and excited,” Junghwan said after taking a sip of his cola.

“But that does not mean you don’t have friends, does it?” Doyoung asked, wiping the corner of his mouth. They are almost done eating, he could tell. He is glad the food is almost taken.

“I do have very few but sometimes I cannot join them. They have their own world.”

“I see.”

“But it’s not like they are making me feel something like I don’t belong. It’s just that they have their own thing that sometimes I cannot.. how do I put this? Like, join or understand. I really enjoy their company though. They’re fun to be with and I like them so much.”

“I get your point,” Doyoung said. “I only have very few friends as well. I only have Mashiho, to be honest. He’s been the real-est friend I ever had. My childhood friends… when we were growing up, we started to drift away. We never had the same interest anymore. I was too focused on studying and they, well, otherwise.”

"Isn’t that always the case though?” Junghwan asked. “Sometimes, you thought you can be with these people forever because you’ve been with them for a long time but turned out not. Whether we like it or not, people change, and we cannot hold onto them anymore – only to the memories we have them.”

They both fell into silence.

“Thanks,” Junghwan said softly after a while.

“For?”

“Listening.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s fine.”

“Thanks again.”

Doyoung did not say anything. He played on his fork while looking at Junghwan intently. The other one looked away.

He took a piece of the cookie and gave it a soft bite. He chewed it slowly. He eyed the other one who, of course, gave him a curious look. It was the taller’s mom who baked it after all.

"It’s bitter,” he blurted out.

“Is it bad?”

“I like dark chocolates. Tell your mom I want more.” Doyoung teased as specks of the sugar spurted out from his mouth. He mumbled a short sorry before wiping the table.

The cookie was chewy camp, not the thin crisp camp with brown sugar and less granulated sugar than most recipes Doyoung has tasted. He likes bittersweet chocolate chips.

"I’ll let her know,” Junghwan chuckled. He took a sip of his Coke again and continued to talk. “I noticed you have a keyboard,” Junghwan mentioned as he stood up and walked towards the small living room.

“Yeah, I grew up admiring our neighbor’s piano. I fell in love with the idea of touching the keys.” Doyoung explained as he followed suit.

"Really? You must’ve been good?”

“Oh, not really. I only did it as a hobby. I did not receive any proper lesson.”

“But you can play?”

“A little bit.”

“May I have the honor to hear good music from you?” Junghwan wished as he sat down on the sofa.

“I can’t guarantee it’s a piece of good music. I’m not really that good.”

“That’s fine,” Junghwan assured. “It’s just the two of us.”

“So, you’re saying I’m not that good?”

“No.. no.. I was –“ Junghwan panicked as he stood up trying to clear out the misunderstanding.

"Just kidding.” Doyoung chuckled. He took off the cover and the apparent specks of dust flew all over the place. He covered his face in utter embarrassment. “I have not played this for such a long time.”

"Junghwan just smiled expectantly as if he is waiting for Doyoung to produce a beautiful melody.

The first time his fingers touched the key, Doyoung almost flinches because suddenly, everything seemed to be a new experience to him. He touched it again and it tingles him for the second time around. He fixed his composure and tried to hide the pressure brought by the presence of the taller guy in the room.

And just like that, music fills the air without effort. Like the waves filling holes in beach sand; the sound rushing in multiple notes.

It started soft, and Junghwan does not know the song. He cannot put a finger on it. The sound waves generated by the small soundboard are complex with many subtle interactions of harmonics and Junghwan is lost in translation.

The speed suddenly changed to a lively tempo, a festive one. Doyoung swayed his body in utter enjoyment. He seemed lost in his own world of G-clef.

“That was wonderful,” Junghwan commented as he walked towards Doyoung and tapped his back. “Great job, you got there.”

Doyoung felt the tap and he had the urge to lean on the body beside him. Junghwan did not slip away and just stood there.

“What was that? I got lost because it was too beautiful.”

“It’s called Liebesträume.”

“Libusto what?”

Doyoung laughed at the mistake. “It’s Li-bos-tawm by Franz Liszt. It’s the first difficult piece that I was able to master when I was in ninth grade. It’s a German word for love dream.”

“At least I was not wrong when I mentally guessed it was all about love,” Junghwan said while facing Doyoung.

“It’s a sad love story. Many musicians have thought he patterned the storyline of the piece from his real-life experiences.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. He fell in love with his student. He worked as a piano teacher and fell in love with his student. He got sick when his father told him to stop the relationship quoting it was an unhealthy one. It was also considered a taboo, too. Thus, the title ‘Love Dream’ because everything is but a dream to him.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Yeah. Would you stop loving or liking someone simply because the other people tell you to?”

"What a question,” Doyoung remarked, but he pondered on the question. “I think… when it comes to love..” He paused. “I have to listen to what I really feel over what other people feel toward the kind of relationship I am with.

“Because after all, I am the one who is in the relationship. If the relationship I am with is not harming me, not harming them, not harming a lot of people, then, no one can stop me from loving that person.”

Junghwan did not respond.

“I probably make no sense,” Doyoung let out an awkward chuckle.

Silence enveloped them. It has always been. Silence has been a thing between them, and Doyoung cannot quite pinpoint it, but it gives him a sense of serenity and comfort.

“Can I sit beside you?” Doyoung heard Junghwan ask. The taller guy did not wait for a response and just casually took some space in the small chair. They stayed like that for a good minute.

“I’m glad I’m here.”

“Me too,” Doyoung replied. He felt Junghwan’s head resting on his right shoulder.

Doyoung did not mind at all.

***